e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?
by: Devlyn Steele
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a “perfect match” for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single – gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled.
The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a “computer personality test” of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a “top psychologist”, have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don’t worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you’re done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do.
Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect.
But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that “playing with matches, a girl can get burned”.
So, do these tests really work?
Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all types of tests. “The Big Five” theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the “Big Three” route, which does away with the “openness” and “agreeableness” dimensions – mostly because it’s easier to remember.
I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they’ve survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That’s a tall order.
People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we’d expect.
Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted.
Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed”. It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance.
If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet.
Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship.
Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not so good, are essential to finding the right person for you.
Does Online Dating Work?
by: adrian knight
Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does it actually work?
I mean, there are tons of Dating websites, but their success with matchmaking is kept rather low key, and I found out why.
When I was searching for Online dating websites, I felt that I couldn’t trust many of the companies and that they were just trying to get money out of me. After many hours of research I was exhausted by the idea of Online Dating, it just seemed more hassle than what it was worth, but I was determined to see it through.
A lot of websites that I researched were either free or had rock bottom membership fees, and I found that these were the worst to go to, bar a few exceptions. Eventually I found a handful of websites that I could trust and were worth the money that they were charging, but it just took so long to find these trust-worthy sites.
So I signed up and begrudgingly paid the membership fee. One of the most important aspects I learnt early on is that your personal profile that you place on the dating website should be immaculate! By this I mean spend time modifying and perfecting your profile, as this is what counts the most! The last thing you want is to be receiving messages from other adults who are just not right for you, its better to make contact with another adult who is very similar to yourself, than to make contact with 10 adults who only share a few similarities.
Eventually I started meeting other people who were very compatible to myself, and as a result have made 2 great friends who are now a major part in my life and have been going out with my long-term girlfriend for over a year (I’m planning a trip to New York at Christmas, so that I can propose to her!)
Online Dating has worked wonders for me, even though it’s taken time to get their, and I Strongly believe that if you spent time looking for the right Dating website, that’s suits you and your needs then you will also have similar success. This thought gave me a brainwave.
I thought how great it would be if their was a website that had a list of all the best Dating websites, that listed these trustworthy companies, so that the biggest hassle is taken away and you can start meeting and communicating with other adults, without having to waste time looking for the best companies. So that’s what I did. I designed a website that was split into sections for American Singles, Gay personals, Jewish Singles and Christian Dating, with the best dating websites for each category.
It is full of information about Online Dating, with reviews of every Dating website and loads of interesting, related articles. There is also help on the best way of writing your personal profile.
Dating Online: The New Way to Meet People
by: Jeff Lakie
A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online.
Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly.
At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone.
As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options.
Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution.
Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face to face, choose a public place. Don’t divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person’s character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting.
10 Reasons to Use Online Dating Sites
There are many more reasons than just ten that I would like to mention, but in this article I have focussed on the primary ten reasons why I believe on-line dating is here to stay. It is now understood that the industry has even further to grow as more and more service suppliers in this segment realize the many niches yet to be serviced and explored. If you are concerned about your time, privacy or safety, while using On-line Dating, then this is a ‘must read’.
1.Most people are pretty busy these days. You can imagine how many times you would have to go out and socialize before finding the right partner. Then consider how much you end up spending week after week. You may meet the right person the first time you go out, but you and I know that this is highly unlikely. This procedure more often than not ends up in a lot of wasted time and a lot of wasted money too. However, dating sites(in general) cost nothing to register and or search.
2.Dating sites (the good ones) are in the main, free to join. Only costing you money when you have linked up with someone and intend on meeting with them or communicating further. This is a great feature because it means you will be aware of the basic geography, the hobbies, nuances, hobbies, and other interests before you meet. This is so much less time consuming than dating different people over and over before you find that ‘right’ person or even just the essential pieces of information.
3.From time to time you can also place advertisements on these sites which stimulates response and gives you a wider field to choose from.
4.You can remain anonymous (recommended) and protect your identity until you’re ready and comfortable enough to disclose who you reallly are. If you decide the other person is not for you, you can easily and tactfully end communication without any animosity or even further contact.
5.Some people moving to a new location like to establish relationships and friend before they arrive at their new abode, allowing settling in to be that much easier. This is very often relevant to single parents. There are sites out there that are specific to single parents dating which make the job of meeting that much easier.
6.You may be having difficulty meeting people of the same faith or religion. In this case, there are niche dating sites that service this need in almost every major religion or faith.
7.Equally important is the need to service alternative dating requirements for those who seek pursuits outside the mainstream world of dating. There are many sites to choose from in this category to a point where choosing a good alternative dating service can become confusing and almost frustrating. Look for a Dating Site Review Service to assist you with this. Most of these service sites will have carried out some reviews in addition to weeding out the good from the not so good. If you don’t find a particular site on a dating site review service it usually means the owners were uncomfortable with the site and will not include it in their pages or they haven’t got around to reviewing it as yet – If the latter is the case, send them an email asking them to review that particular site. Most will follow through and you will find a review in as little as a few days in some cases. If it does not turn up on their pages, there could be something wrong with it.
8.Adult dating also falls into the above category due to its large following. Fortunately, the same solution applies. Just find a dating site review service that has done the ‘hard yards’ on your behalf and click away. The good review sites are free and will guide you to the better service suppliers.
9.On the subject of Dating Site Review Services, some of them supply newsletters which keep you informed and up to date on new services, promotions (ie.Romance Tours, Dating Events and Speed Dating etc.) and of course other exciting freebies. It is always worth subscribing because you can always unsubscribe if you want to. Just make sure they mention that in their ‘sign up box’. Some independent sites have their own newsletters but common sense tells you that you are more likely to receive a more diverse range of information and promotions from the Dating Site Review Service than from just one independent dating site. This occurs because they will screen a whole swag of offers from a host of sites rather than just one before they onsend them to you.
10.Another cool free service from responsible dating sites and review services are the articles which frequently guide you in the right direction with dating trends and tips for successful dating and romance.
I hope this article has opened you eyes to just a few of the many benefits and features that can be obtained when using dating sites to help you.
by: Roy Barker
