Being Authentically You
by: Jennifer Snyder
I once read a fascinating, but all too realistic, story about a woman who opened her closet door and out tumbled various pieces of sporting equipment and memorabilia.
While these possessions represented the last decade of her life, she didn’t realize until putting them all away that she felt no connection to anything in her closet. You see, this poor woman had put aside her own interests for the hobbies of a long line of significant others. Standing before her newly straightened shelves, she recalled relationships with Partner A in the water skis, Partner B in the bicycle helmet, and Partner C with a paintball gun. She asked herself, “How could I have given up so much of myself so that nothing in my closet reflects my own interests?”
My simple answer is that she had a desire to fit in and be accepted. It’s a pretty safe bet that if a woman wants to become her partner’s ideal mate, she only needs to transform herself into that person. And it happens … again, and again, and again.
Still, we wonder, what does this cost her? And, is it fair to her significant other? Maybe, most importantly, we need to recognize that following this plan of action leads her to never finding a true ideal mate.
Like many of my coaching clients, I was raised with the unspoken messages of not asking for too much, and not being too vocal about my strengths. As a result, this upbringing and my need to be accepted after my divorce found me dating men who didn’t require much from their partner. At the same time, they didn’t offer much, either.
If you were looking for your ideal partner today, would you really be interested in someone whose only goal was to become your vision of a good mate? Would you want to spend time with someone who presented himself one way, but after the curtain was drawn, you saw something much different? Whether the person is a significant other or a female acquaintance, isn’t this image a little unsettling?
I don’t believe most women are trying to fool a mate with smoke and mirrors, but I do fear that many transform their lives to match their partner’s because they don’t yet know who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or how to measure their goals and values.
A staggering number of women in my divorce workshops say, “I’ve given so much to my ex-husband and the family that I feel like I’m left with nothing. I couldn’t even tell you my favorite color, or what I want for dinner.” My heart immediately goes out to these women because years ago, their words were mine.
Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places. A few weeks ago, while preparing for an appearance on an Orlando news program, I had to confront my comfortable pattern of downplaying my strengths. In the length of a short guest feature, I had to explain the ways I help women, and why I’m good at my work. This moment was significant for me, and one I will remember every time I find myself wanting to go back to that old habit of not being true to myself.
You can win in relationships and business by authentically knowing and being who you are, using the skills you bring to the table, and having a level of comfort that allows for flexibility and change.
Women shortchange themselves by jumping into relationships before taking the time to fully discover and appreciate themselves. They don’t stop to think about the characteristics they desire in a partner.
Are you looking for your ideal relationship?
Surprise, it all begins with being authentically you.
Make Yourself Irresistable
The key to being irresistable to men is more about you and less about them.
It is about accentuating every one of your strengths both internally and externally and reveling in them.
So before we show you how to flirt, tease and seduce, we are going to teach you how to pamper, indulge and revel in the delicious power of being a woman.
1) Before going out to socialize or even see the one that you are currently dating, take a few minutes to visualize what you want to happen. Picture in detail exactly who you want and what you want to happen between you. What qualities will your perfect lover have?
How will he look at you? How will he touch you? Add in as much detail as possible. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it.
2) Before seeing the man you are dating or stepping foot outside the door, take care with your appearance. Look in the mirror and identify all the things that you like about yourself. If you focus on the qualities that you like about yourself, you will have far more confidence in yourself than most women out there. That will show and give you an edge.
3) Accentuate those positive qualities.
For example: If you have full shiny hair make the most of it. Let it flow down your shoulders. Play with it in front of the one you desire. Men have a fascination with hair.
If you have full pouty lips, apply liner around the edges then fill in with a deep gloss that accentuates your skin tone, then apply a lighter coat just in the center of your lips. This will give them even more sex appeal.
4) Play up your eyes. A lot of flirting is done with eye play. Look at him then look away. Use your eyes to tell him everything that you are feeling, everything that you would like to do to him.
5) Wear clothes that accentuate your assets. Hint at your curves without exposing them. Remember less is more. Incite his curiosity. Make him want to see more.
6) Wear a delicate scent. Apply your perfume twenty minutes before you go out the door. A woman’s scent is enticing. Overpowering perfume, on the other hand, is a major turn off.
7) Take care of your whole body, not just your face. Most women wash their face daily and moisturize but what about the rest of you? Take care of your skin. Use a good sugar scrub on your body and follow with a rich moisturizer. If your body feels silky smooth, you will feel and act sexier. Plus the man of your dreams won’t be able to resist caressing your smooth, silky soft skin.
by: Caterina Christakos
Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It’s unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let’s face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure.
2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight.
3) Don’t talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right.
4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.
5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him.
6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit.
7) Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn’t even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.
by: Caterina Christakos
